For many, the festive period is a time of joy and celebration; however, for others, it can amplify feelings of loneliness and grief. This is particularly true for parents who have faced the unimaginable loss of a child. In those moments, football has emerged as a source of solace for many, thanks to groups like Sands United FC, which brings together men whose lives have been altered by baby loss.

Sands Utd: A Community Born from Tragedy

Freddie Kizis-Stevens established Sands United FC Bury St Edmunds following his family's heartbreaking experience. In 2021, his son Noah was lost during pregnancy. Faced with limited support specifically tailored for men dealing with such grief, Kizis-Stevens turned to football, establishing a team where men could congregate and communicate freely about their experiences.

Why Football?

Football is more than just a game for these men; it's a lifeline. As Kizis-Stevens explains, support structures for men undergoing baby loss are sparse. "If you do know someone that's experienced baby loss, Christmas can be a very isolating time," he shares. "Reach out, acknowledge their baby. Say their name — it's a really meaningful thing to do."

The players meet monthly, and each session often concludes with an outing to the pub, providing a safe space where grief can be acknowledged and shared.

A Growing Network of Support

Since the founding of Sands United FC in Northampton by Rob Allen, the network has expanded to 40 clubs across the UK. Allen himself was driven by personal loss; in 2017, his wife Charlotte lost their daughter Niamh at 39 weeks of pregnancy.

The initiative has received widespread attention, including a notable mention by singer Lewis Capaldi in his alternate music video for the hit "Pointless." The network's aim is simple — to offer a space where grieving fathers can connect and support one another through shared experiences.

Personal Stories of Healing

Chris Jackson, a player with Sands United, highlights the importance of these meetings. Donning shirts that proudly display the names of their lost children, these fathers find the camaraderie and understanding they need. "This is my one time a month I get to do something for my boy," Jackson reflects. "To be surrounded by people where I don't have to be scared about saying what's gone on."

For others like Peter Jenkyn, whose daughter Matilda passed away shortly after birth, Sands United offers a sense of community and belonging. "It's given me comfort and belonging, and I think all these guys would say exactly the same thing," Jenkyn states.

Reaching Out in Times of Need

The holiday season, often a poignant time for remembrance, can intensify the isolation felt by those who have experienced baby loss. Yet, through communal support and understanding, Sands United FC encourages men to reach out and make connections. By participating in these teams, bereaved fathers foster a shared sense of identity and encourage each other to find new ways to commemorate their children.

The charity not only raises awareness of the unique ways men process grief but also emphasizes the importance of specialized support. For those interested in joining or learning more, visiting the Sands website offers details on how to connect with local teams in Bury St Edmunds, Northampton, and beyond.