Parents have always loved stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan for his brutal honesty about having kids and being a dad — the father of five is so candid about the challenges of parenthood that often all we can do is laugh. And now that his kids are getting older, he has an important update: teenagers are totally horrible and we were fools to think that the hardest years were the baby years.
Gaffigan opened up about his upsetting parenting revelation on CBS Sunday Morning, where he was very blunt: ‘It only gets worse,” he begins.
Gaffigan says that he knows how much he’s complained about having five young kids in his comedy career up to this point — and how they made his life “hell.” But now he’s taking it all back.
“I’d like to apologize. I was wrong. Dead wrong,” he continues. “Having five young children was a beautiful thing. I know that now, because I presently have five NOT young children, and my life is absolutely horrible.”
He’s joking of course — that’s what he does best. But as any parent of a teen knows, he’s also not really joking.
“I remember thinking, ‘If we could just get these kids out of diapers, our lives will be so easy,’” he says. “I was naïve, arrogant, and yet, off-beat good-looking.”
“I didn’t know back then when a stranger would see me with my young kids and volunteer, ‘You’re gonna miss this!’ I thought they were weirdos with no boundaries,” he quips. “I didn’t realize that stranger was bestowing a warning upon me – that every adorable toddler eventually transforms into a tormenting teen executing the karmic revenge of our own parents.”
“I’m glad I didn’t know every school morning with not-young children would feel like a theatrical re-creation of the Fall of Saigon,” he says. “It’s for the best that I didn’t realize that the smell of a full diaper was sweet compared to the odor of a teenage boy’s anything. I guess my message to the parents of young children is this: It doesn’t get better. It gets worse.”
Very uplifting, thanks, Jim!
Gaffigan has been married to actress and writer Jeannie since 2003 — and she produces and co-writes much of his work. The pair have two daughters and three sons, ranging in ages from 17 to 10. The family often travels on tour with their dad, and they’re often the subject of his shows.
And while his message of doom about the teen years is hard to take, it is comforting to know that parents will have Gaffigan suffering along side us and making jokes to get us all through it.
Gaffigan’s new special Comedy Monsterhe is steaming on Netflix and he’s on tour now with his new show, The Fun Tour.
